Innocence: The Aftermath
by CheesyRuffles
Summary: Wars are, of course, as a rule to be avoided; but they are far better than certain kinds of peace...


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Innocence: The Aftermath  
  
**Chapter One**  
  
**Attack on Mars**

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"Wars are, of course, as a rule to be avoided;   
but they are far better than certain kinds of peace."  
- Theodore Roosevelt

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AC 199  
  
Mars was very cold at night, and despite the weather scientists' best efforts it was snowing again. Fluffy flakes drifting lazily to the ground where the snow was tinged pink from the red dirt. Noin fumbled with her keys at the door to her apartment, fingers numb with cold despite the thick gloves. The colonists had originally used electronic pads that recognized the right hand-print to admit people, but after the twelfth power outage in as many hours had locked half the small population outside, including the electrical engineers responsible for fixing the power, more old fashioned means of security had been installed. Noin finally jammed the key in the lock, turned it, and jiggled the door handle until it opened. She squeezed through what space she and the door could win against the large pile of snow blocking it and shoved the door closed behind her.  
  
The lights were off but Noin had enough experience navigating their small apartment in near perfect darkness that she only stumbled twice -- once over his boots, left on the floor in the narrow hallway and once over the coffee table, trying to get her own boots off without resorting to waking him up to help. It was tempting. The other colonists did what they could with arranging shifts, but she rarely got to see him awake. Noin dropped most of her clothes in their tiny living room on the pile of his before setting off in a quest to the bathroom for a hot shower. She ended up in the kitchen twice, then felt her way quietly along the wall to find the bathroom. She closed the door behind her before turning the light on.  
  
He'd left a note pinned to the mirror, along with a picture of himself, still wet from the shower and exhausted looking but awake nonetheless. There was a tired smile on his lips, a faint bruise on his cheek, and a longing in his ice blue eyes. She missed his eyes.  
  
_Lu,   
  
Half a sandwich for you in the fridge. Tried to wait up but lost it in the shower. Fell asleep, fell down, most of your raspberry shampoo went down the drain. Sorry. Got us both tomorrow night and the next day off for my birthday. Miss you. Love you. God, but I love you, my Lucrezia. _My _Lucrezia. G'night.   
  
- Zechs  
  
PS. Relena called. Says she'll get us Christmas off if we come visit. Sends her love.   
  
PSS. Still miss you.   
  
PSSS. Try not to slip on the shampoo in the shower. Tried to clean it but too sleepy. Still love you.  
_  
Noin smiled quietly to herself, fished around in the cramped cabinet under the sink until she found a tube of red lipstick. She smeared it on, too tired to do more than a halfway decent job and then kissed his face in the picture before wiping it off her mouth with a damp washcloth. She missed him too. Mars kept them both very busy, though the people in charge promised two weeks off for everyone when they got the plant nursery completed. The hard work was definitely worth its reward, though. Even if they did hardly ever see each other in daylight, at least they were finally together. Thank God for that.   
  
Noin stripped out of the rest of her work clothes, dropping them on the floor next to his and stepping into the shower. They'd worked out a system between them. She got home, took a shower, washed his clothes while she ate then went to bed. When he got up some six-odd hours later, he washed hers before he had to leave. It saved more time for sleep, something always in short supply on Mars.   
  
Noin washed quickly, soaping all over, shampooing her hair and then stepping into the hot spray of water. She stood still underneath it, letting it wash the soap from her skin and chill from her body. Its warmth was no replacement for his, though. What she wanted most at that moment and forever. Noin allowed herself to linger under the spray for a few precious moments before she shut the shower off and climbed out. Zechs, the perfectionist, had neatly folded her nightclothes and set them on top of the hamper, and she tugged them on sleepily, swaying on her feet, then gathered his work clothes together and headed for the kitchen.  
  
Noin wanted more than anything to be lying with him in the cool dark, snuggled against his warm chest under the blankets, sleeping, but she threw his clothes in the wash and crammed the sandwich half in her mouth, not chewing long enough to taste it. A glass of milk followed it down and she had enough time to stumble to the bathroom and brush away the furry feeling it gave her off with her toothbrush -- which was fraying -- before the timer on the washing machine buzzed gently and Noin transferred the wet pile of clothes to the dryer then stumbled in the direction of their bedroom.  
  
Mars was very hard work, mostly because she and Zechs were part of the more permanent team there. That meant they had more shifts than most everyone else, less time off, and usually got the harder tasks. It was worth it -- she had to keep telling herself this -- as long as she had Zechs. Part of her would have been happy as a waitress in some obscure little coffee house back on Earth so she could actually see him once in a while, but she understood what had brought him to Mars.  
  
He was trying to compensate for the war crimes of Milliardo Peacecraft. He still got nightmares because of that, though they were occurring less and less often because he went to bed too utterly exhausted for dreams. There was still too much blood on his hands -- Zechs thought -- to allow his happiness. So he worked himself to the bone, but came home -- home, to their apartment cramped though it was, thank God she had Zechs Merquise, he was hers, at last -- with a tired smile on his face, pleased with his days' work. It erased some of the war-guilt, that he got to create something instead of destroy it, help people instead of hurt them, build a new world for innocents to live on instead of trying to blow up the one they had.   
  
Early on, Zechs had tried to make her leave. Spouting something about how she deserved to be with a man who knew who he was, didn't have blood on his hands, could make her happy. Noin had brushed Zechs' soft platinum-blond bangs out of his eyes, kissed him gently, and told him to shove it up his ass. His arms had tightened around her desperately at that, and he'd clung to her with the fierce urgency of a man drowning. He was still so scared and vulnerable in so many ways, but working on Mars helped. Healing things helped. It broke her heart how proud his smile would be whenever he and his team finished a project, as if to say See? Guilty worthless people can create things, too.   
  
Noin entered their small bedroom quietly, assisted by the loud hum of machinery that was everywhere on Mars. Zechs was stretched out under the blankets, soft platinum hair spread out over the pillows, faint moonlight shining on his bare chest as it rose and fell with every breath. He was at peace, at least in sleep, however fragile that peace was. Noin felt the familiar surge of fierce tenderness towards him. Her dear, beautiful, beloved Zechs. She got into the bed and under the blankets carefully, not wanting to wake this sleeping angel. Noin curled herself around him, one leg tucked between his, an arm wrapped around his waist, her cheek resting on his warm shoulder. Sleep-desire helped her fight the almost overpowering Zechs-desire. Still, though he was unconscious, Zechs smiled softly and draped an arm over her waist.  
  
That was when the sirens went off.  
  
  
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Lady Une -- General Une now, she supposed, she was head of the Preventers -- sat alone at her desk, in her office on Earth, doing paperwork. She'd founded the Preventers to snuff out anti-peace rebellions, but her job was paperwork like the Grand Canyon was a hole in the ground -- the description was right but way off scale.  
  
Still... Anything for Treize. Or rather, his dreams. It was all she had left of him.  
  
Dreams, and Mariemaia.  
  
His daughter. Master Treize's _daughter._ Une still had a little trouble believing it. It'd made her jealous, for all of ten seconds, that he'd been with another woman. Despite what the tabloids liked to believe, he and Une's relationship had been mostly business. Mostly -- but for the times he'd get drunk, and stumble into her room in the dead of night.  
  
An annoying beeping emitted from her dormant vid screen, and she pressed buttons randomly on the keyboard until the message popped up. Her paperwork was important, but this was her private line so the message took precedence. Not many people had her private number.  
  
The vid was shot through with static, but Une could make out the form of Zechs Merquise in the cockpit of a shuttle.  
  
"We...attack...Mars colony was complete...destroyed...mobile suits, from the sou...only survivors..." His message was interrupted with random bursts of static.  
  
Then Noin's voice, frantic: "Zechs, look, it-"  
  
Static covered the screen, blocking Zechs, then an unidentified male voice, probably a colonist: "It's a Gundam!"  
  
The screen went black.  
  
Another, more persistent beeping. A data file had been sent with the message. It was from the shuttle's sensors and the satellites orbiting Mars -- pictures, mostly. Of mobile suits attacking a shuttle. Of mobile suits that were Gundams.  
  
Une sat still for all of one second, before her secretary burst into her office.  
  
"General, the message -- it was broadcast off over the base!"  
  
Fuck.  
  
_It's a Gundam!_  
  
"The loudspeaker? The computer network?"  
  
"Both, ma'am."  
  
"Fuck."  
  
The Preventers and politicians like Relena had been doing their best to dispel the panic that went along with the word 'Gundam.' They hadn't yet succeeded. Une thought fast. Her first move would be to try and contain the explosion this news was going to generate. Keep it contained, keep on the base, don't let anything slip to the public.  
  
Zechs and Noin were going to have to take care of themselves for a few hours.  
  
"Call _all_ of our staff together -- in an old mobile suit hanger, it'll be big enough. We have to keep this on the base. Get a video camera for me -- I need to make a press release tape if we fail and this bitch gets loose." By this time, they were in the hallway, walking fast.   
  
_It's a Gundam!  
  
_"Which colony is closest to Mars? L3? Get me Trowa Barton on the vid -- his number's in my private files. Call in all our Preventers out on missions. Notify Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian. We have to do everything we can to keep this under control!"  
  
Fuck.  
  
_Treize...looks like your dream of peace is turning into a nightmare._  
  
  
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"You guys, our life as soldiers...is now over."_  
  
_That was all he could say. All he could manage to come out of his mouth. Quatre loved this new era of peace... but it didn't fit him. It never would, he was a soldier and he always would be. But the problem was that there was no room for a soldier in this lifetime. He had to move on, _had to._ He stood form sitting at his desk and looked out the window. He couldn't deny it any longer, he wanted to be inside of Sandrock. He wanted to pilot the Gundam again. His life was empty...boring.   
  
After the Eve Wars he went back to L4 to live with his sisters and take over what his father never finished. He hadn't seen any of his former friends since then. Of course he would occasionally see Lady Une, who was working for the Preventers, on the news -- but Quatre never considered her a real friend. He had at first kept tabs on them. Trowa Barton was still at the circus and Duo Maxwell and Wufei Chang were with Lady Une at the Prevetures. No one had heard or seen anything of Heero Yuy. Of course Quatre tried at first to find him but after a while he found it impossible and gave up. He figured if Heero didn't want to be found then he wouldn't be found.  
  
Quatre's thoughts were interrupted when there was a quiet knock on the door. "Come in." There was no feeling in his voice, it was monotone. The person pushed the door open and closed it behind them.   
  
"Master Quatre, he made the offer again."  
  
"Rasheed I told you... I'm not getting married." Quatre walked away from the window and towards Rasheed. Quatre's sisters had been trying to get him married.   
  
_Quatre, it will help the business.   
  
We're not trying to force you but there has been so many offers, pretty soon people are going to start asking questions._   
  
Bullshit. Quatre knew when he was being forced in to something.  
  
"But Master Quatre you know what will-" Rasheed was interrupted by Quatre's harsh voice.  
  
"No! I said no! Rasheed I'm not getting married. Leave me alone already!" Quatre balled up his fists and closed his eyes. Rasheed was silent and then he started to leave.  
  
"Rasheed I'm sorry," he sighed. "Just tell everyone to leave me alone for a while."  
  
"Yes, Master Quatre." Rasheed left just as quietly as he came.  
  
He walked back to his desk and turned on the vid with the remote. The news was on. They were saying something about Relena Peacecraft, but Quatre wasn't listening. The vid caught his attention again when he heard Lady Une speaking.  
  
"We don't know how many of the colonists survived, but we know some got off the planet. Two of our agents were with them and we have already sent out teams for their rescue."  
  
Quatre remembered talking to Duo a while ago about Zechs Marquise and Lucrezia Noin going on a mission to Mars. Teraforming project he had called it. He wondered if this had to do with them.  
  
"We have confirmed, from information sent from the shuttle and from data gathered from the satellites around Mars, that the attack was instigated by Gundams. We-"  
  
A voice interrupted, a male news anchor. "If you have any information that could help the Preventers, please call the number on your screen. We will keep you posted."  
  
Quatre stood so fast his chair fell backwards. _Gundams?! What does this-_ he interrupted his own thoughts. _No I don't have time to think. _He immediately called up Rasheed on the vid.  
  
"Rasheed prepare a shuttle for me... I'm leaving."  
  
"Do you mind if I ask where you are going Master Quatre?"  
  
"Earth. I'm going to Earth."  
  
_It's over, huh...? Maybe not._  
  
  
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"Trowa! Someone's on the vid for you!"  
  
Trowa stood up away from the caged black panther he'd been feeding little chunks of meat. She purred, rubbing her head on the bars as he walked towards the trailer he shared with his sister. The other actors smiled at him, calling friendly greetings to the former Gundam pilot -- most of them knew who he was, from his stunt so many years before at the Oz base. The circus was Trowa's home, and he was more than just happy there.   
  
He was at peace.  
  
But when he stepped into the living room and saw Lady Une's face on the vid, he knew the peace was going to end.  
  
"Trowa. Good to see you looking so well."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
She laughed a bit. "Yes, why else would I call you?" She sighed, suddenly looking very old and weary. "There has been an attack on the little colony on Mars. Zechs, Noin, and some others managed to escape but we haven't had word from them since. It... Trowa, it was a Gundam. Gundams did it."  
  
"And you need me to rescue Zechs and Miss Noin?"  
  
"You don't seem surprised."  
  
Trowa sighed, crossing his arms behind his head and staring through the window at Catherine, who'd taken over his job with the panther. "Lady Une, when you've had a life like mine, nothing surprises you."   
  
_Catherine, I'm going to have to leave you again. The show must go on... and my show just happens to be war..._  
  
  
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Duo sighed, leaning back in his chair, propping his feet on the desk, and resting his head on his arms. He was thinking about Hilde. Back on L2 she'd practically kicked him out.  
  
_"Duo, I understand what your going through. You're not use to this peace thing yet. Go...go back to Earth and figure things out... I'll be here when you get back... I promise."_  
  
He didn't like leaving her. But she was right, he wasn't comfortable with the thought of peace. Not yet anyway. He needed to find himself. He needed to find Duo Maxwell. Not the God of Death...he was dead already. His life. It was so...out of place_._ He couldn't get use to peace. It felt strange. He felt...used.   
  
_Hilde, your probably not waiting for me anymore. It's been two years. I'm sorry. I still haven't found myself. _  
  
He closed his eyes.But it was too late, he couldn't go back to her. She would be hurt, angry. Their relationship was going somewhere...at least something in his life was. But now it was crushed. Just like everything else. He wondered how the other pilots were doing. He knew _where_ everyone else was, at least. Except Heero. He wished everything was how it use to be. But then again that would include the war.But was that what he wanted_?   
  
_He occasionally talked to Quatre. And of course Wufei -- who also worked at the Preventers. But that was it. Everyday was the same old same old. He hated it. He didn't want to lie to Hilde...but he did. He said some shit about finding himself. When the truth was, he already had. He was just trying to run from it.  
  
Duo absent-mindedly started to chew on his pencil. He was confused he did want everything to be how it use to be, but he also wished he never had met any of the Gundam pilots. Never met Professor G. Never met..._Hilde? _His life sucked, but then again he knew some people that also had the same Fate. He bit down so hard that the pencil snapped in half and he bit his tongue.   
  
Damn it..._  
  
_He put the two pieces of pencil down on the table and sat up. He heard static on the intercom and glanced up at it. Strange... That sounded like Zechs' voice.  
  
"We...attack...Mars colony was complete...destroyed...mobile suits, from the sou...only survivors..." The message was interrupted with random bursts of static.  
  
Noin's voice, frantic: "Zechs, look, it-"  
  
Then some guy: "It's a Gundam!"  
  
Duo shook is head making sure he heard right. _Damn...a _Gundam?  
_  
_"Attention. What you just heard was an emergency message from our teraforming team on Mars. General Une has ordered everyone to meet in the old Gundam hanger, right now. And I mean _everyone_. This goes for all civilians on base as well."   
  
_What the fuck? An actual _Gundam_?! _Duo was frozen for at least ten seconds then he remembered the message and was immediately on his way to the hanger.  
  
_War...it follows everywhere I go. Hilde, maybe I will see you after all._  
  
  
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Wufei clutched the passports tightly in one hand, weaving through the crowd towards his gate. His mission had been a success -- seek out the small rebel group 'C.L.A.W.' and gather information on them. Wufei was tired now, and he was going home. Or at least, he was going to his quarters in the Preventers' base. Wufei didn't have a home. He boarded the plane, finding his seat and claiming it early before the rush of the other passengers. Damn. He was seated next to a rather exuberant toddler with lollipops. The kid's mother was across the aisle. Wufei settled in, glaring out of the window and fending off the child as it tried to push its lollipop up his left nostril.  
  
Life had been fair to him after the war. Taking Sally up on her offer to join the Preventers had turned out better than he'd thought it would have. He had a healthy salary, and a good chunk already put away for his retirement. Peace was good, and Wufei would have been happy but for one thing.  
  
He missed Nataku.  
  
He missed that feeling of battle, that glory, that honor, that feeling of having the whole world sit up and take notice. That feeling of importance. He missed the unity he'd feel with Nataku. _That_ was home, in her cockpit, fighting a worthy opponent, feeling like he could take on the world. He knew Duo Maxwell felt the same about his suit. Wufei'd catch him sketching Deathscythe in the margins of his reports -- there was even a rather lewd doodle on the stall in the men's public restroom.  
  
"Attention," said a voice over the loudspeaker. "Take-off has been delayed for an important annoucement from your local news station."  
  
Pause. Static. Then --  
  
"We...attack...Mars colony was complete...destroyed...mobile suits, from the sou...only survivors..."   
  
What the _fuck_?! Zechs?! Wufei sat up straight in his seat, gripping the arm rests so hard his knuckles turned white.  
  
Noin's voice, frantic: "Zechs, look, it-"  
  
Then another male voice, screaming: "It's a Gundam!"  
  
Another short pause, the the unmistakeble, smooth voice of a female newscaster. "What you have just heard is an emergancy transmission from a space shuttle from the Mars Teraforming Project -- the sole survivors of a confirmed Gundam attack on the colony there. We have now a few words from General Une of the Preventers."  
  
Pause.  
  
"We don't know how many of the colonists survived, but we know some got off the planet. Two of our agents were with them and we have already sent out teams for their rescue."  
  
Slight pause.  
  
"We have confirmed, from information sent from the shuttle and from data gathered from the satellites around Mars, that the attack was instigated by Gundams. We are doing everything we can to assure public safety, however-"  
  
Long pause, then the newsanchor came back on. "We have lost contact with the Preventers for the moment, but we will maintain constant coverage of this terrifying event. Now to Whitney Smith in the field for the public opinion on this unprovoked attack. Whitney?"  
  
"Thank you, Stephanie. I am here with Sylvia Noventa-"  
  
Wufei stopped listening. The other passangers were on the edges of their seats. A few were crying, a few were furious, a few just looked tired. Wufei leaned back in his seat, staring through the window.   
  
_Nataku...I shouldn't have destroyed you after all. We are still needed to maintain justice in this world._  
  
  
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Peace was not an easy thing for a solider to live with. It ate away at the insides like some disease. Heero didn't wish for war, not quite, but the peace was killing him. He was too twisted, too much a solider, to live like the rest of humanity. He was no longer needed. Humanity was on the road to complete pacifism, and had no place for the perfect solider. War was all he knew how to do.   
  
He wasn't supposed to be alive.  
  
Then again, he wasn't alive, not really. Living meant being happy, living meant having friends and a family. Living meant existing for the present or the future, not being haunted by ghosts of the past. Heero survived, he did not live. He didn't want to. Living also meant having emotions, and he was too tired for that.  
  
_I'll say it again. Acting on you're emotions is the only way to live a good life.  
  
_Bullshit. Emotions were for people like Zechs Merquise and Treize Khushrenada. Real soldiers didn't need emotions.  
  
Life was very cruel to Heero Yuy. He'd been fucked up by Dr. J and the others to fit in the cracks too twisted for the rest of humanity to inhabit. And now that they'd got what was needed from him, he could be forgotten like all the other toy soldiers.  
  
So he lived alone in a little asshole of an apartment in the slums of L1, just surviving. Money was no problem, for as skilled a computer hacker as he, but somehow he couldn't see himself in some fancy mansion, surrounded by servants, pampered and fussed over. He could have gone to Mars, like Zechs, he could have joined the Preventers, like Duo and Wufei, he could have been head of a cooperation like Quatre, though it would have taken a bit of work. He could have searched out all the other's like him -- Dr. J hadn't gotten the experiment right on the first try, there were others out there just as fucked as he was. He could have become a politician and helped the world along it's road to utter peace -- the possibilities were endless.  
  
He could have gone with Relena.  
  
_Next time, give it to me in person.  
  
_Heero only left his shithole apartment for food from a gang-owned convenient store on the corner. They didn't mess with him, sensing perhaps something of the killer inside him. They'd even warned him a couple times when their wars were going to break out, giving him time to get away. They wanted him to join them, but knew better than to ask outright.  
  
So that's what he was doing that day, standing in the checkout line with a bag of canned foods. A little old fashioned vid set was on the counter, facing the clerk, but its volume was loud enough for Heero to hear the newscaster's voice.  
  
"--General Une, head of the Preventers, had this to say on the matter."  
  
A pause, then Une's voice:  
  
"We don't know how many of the colonists survived, but we know some got off the planet. Two of our agents were with them and we have already sent out teams for their rescue."  
  
Slight pause.  
  
"We have confirmed, from information sent from the shuttle and from data gathered from the satellites around Mars, that the attack was instigated by Gundams. We-"  
  
The newscaster came back on. "If you have any information as to-"  
  
Heero calmly set the bag of food on the counter and walked out of the door, trying to remember which shuttle port was closest.  
  
_Relena... Maybe I'll have to keep that promise after all..._  
  
  
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Rast: Okay, bug Cheezy if you want more, 'cause she is lazy and sleeps on her ass all day instead of writing this story like she should. I have my parts done, but we can't update until LazyAss writes hers. 

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